Jody: As an Architect, did you always know you wanted to limit our choices?
Mr. Glasses: I wanted to limit my own choices, and by those limits, expand them. Your choices were of no concern.
Jody: Was there a particular moment in your childhood that foreshadowed your future as an imaginary Architect?
Mr. Glasses: I would spend my childhood hours designing immaculate stainless steel cages for the wounded animals I found in the forests of rural New England.
Jody: When given a choice between simplicity and happiness, which do you choose? And why?
Mr. Glasses: This all reminds of what the 18th century Japanese poet Ryokan once wrote:
Showing their backs
Then their front
Falling Maple leaves
Jody: Did Philip Johnson drink?
Mr. Glasses: A dry martini with Mies was not an uncommon occurrence. He also drank off the energy of young architects…
Jody: Do you consider Minimalism to be a choice or a responsibility?
Mr. Glasses: Minimalism is a style—as barbaric and dishonest as chintz wallpaper. Modernism is a mode of comprehension and will endure.
Jody: What was it like to play a role in the destruction of the American dream?
Mr. Glasses: I shed no tears for the death of the widget and the doohickey.
Jody: When your clients stop calling? What do you do then? (I mean, I’m just asking, it’s not like I have any personal experience with the subject, I mean, just say hypothetically, if one were to find themselves in a situation where, “just for the sake of argument” their clients just didn’t call, for, like, maybe a couple of years, I mean, that would suck right?, I mean, I can’t imagine what that would be like personally, but, just for the sake of discussion, what DOES one do when that happens?)
Mr. Glasses: You design in your head. And eat instant ramen.
Jody: Is there anything that Modernism can’t replace?
Mr. Glasses: Yes, America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock and Michelangelo’s Campidoglio. Oh wait a moment, I forgot about Lincoln Center. The answer is: only Sandra Bullock.
Jody: Are there too many “A’s” in “Aalto”?
Mr. Glasses: Yes indeed. As you know, I was one of the first to call attention to that superfluous A. I also feel there are far too many legs on his stool—two should suffice.
cover image of the Bauhaus in Dessau from paula soler-moya’s photostream on Flickr (used under creative commons license)