Architecture is hard, and your classes are going to be hard too. In fact, Architectural Studio 301 is going to break you. V.I.U.* isn’t interested in cranking out a profession full of p###ies. So, Studio 301 is going ride you hard and put you away wet. Then they’re going to call for a spot crit.. You can pin that sh#t up so they can kick you down a few pegs. Studio’s going to eat you alive, Tennessee.
You’re gonna need some rules if you want to survive.
1. Cardio. You’ll need to be able to out run the T.A. Sure, he looks lanky, but he went to Cornell.
2. Double Tap. Aim for the head, then repeat. Don’t just wound the professor. That’s just going to make him mad, and he’s not going to extend the deadline. So, Double tap, and, make sure he’s not moving before you go back to your drawing board. Double tap.
3. Beware of bathrooms. You’ll get design ideas in there and they won’t always translate well.
4. Wear seatbelts. You’re going to be tired on your way home from studio, and everyone else on the road is drunk or about to be. Besides, nothing good ever happens on the road after midnight.
6. Cast Iron Skillet. they’ll have the best pancakes in town at 3am, trust me.
7. Travel light - We don’t want to hear about your childhood. The assignment is to design a high school. Stop telling us about your father.
8. Get a kickass patner. Whenever possible, have them stand in front of you. They do the talking, you look aloof. Trust me, the more they say, the better you’re going to look.
12. Bounty paper towels. Exacto knives break. Don’t let it screw up the model.
15. Bowling balls – You’ll need huevos grandes** for that design crit.
17. Don’t be a hero – Stick to the program. Don’t change the rules of the design assignment. Seriously, tap the brakes, you’re no Bjarke Ingels.
18. Limber up – That history professor on the design crit? the one talking about “heritage” or something, you might need to take a swing at her. stay loose.
21. Avoid Strip clubs – I know the forms may seem elegant and the lighting’s interesting, but this isn’t helping you finish that design. Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s a dude… Wait, is “her” name Zaha?
22. When in doubt, know your way out – I know they don’t teach the building codes here, but seriously, you need 2 stairs out of that building. You know who doesn’t appreciate great design? People who die in a fire.
29. the buddy system – Dude, hold my beer. I need to go throw up.
31. Check the back seat - you were sleeping there last night, right?, and I’m pretty sure that taco bell bag has been there all semester. Is that my gum?
32. Enjoy the little things – sunrises, hot showers, aspirin, that little guy on Jackass
33. Swiss army knife - when in doubt, ALWAYS pull out the Le Corbusier blade.
34. Clean socks - keep them in your locker, you’re going to be here a while.
48. Hygiene – those 15 cups of coffee you had today? seriously…, get a tic tac.
And, I’m not kidding, double tap.
all photos are from Blue Funnies’ photostream on Flickr (used under creative commons license)
* Very Important University
** big eggs
original list of rules might be from Zombieland