Architectural Statistics

If you were to line up all the Architects in the world end to end they would circle the globe 17.45 times. Architectural firms would then lay-off 202,175 interns to reduce the distance to an even 17 times around the globe.

If you were to assemble the professional basketball players who will later become Architects, you would not have enough to play the game, and they would drop the ball.

If you divide the number of Architects who play the accordian by the number who play the banjo you get 1… and a 2… and a 3

Number of Architects it takes to screw in a light bulb? - just one *

If you total the amount of money given to Architectural interns as a bonus in 2010, you will not be able to stop laughing.

The number of retired Architects is less than the number of Architects who do not realize they are retired.

It takes 5 pounds of Architects to fill a 5 pound sack **

The first time you realize you want to be an Architect minus the number of times you wish you had realized you wanted to be anything but an Architect equals the number of times you need to reread this sentence.

If an Architect is traveling east at 25 miles per hour and an Engineer is traveling North by Northeast at 5 miles an hour, the Architect is 200 times more likely to assume the Engineer is off course, and moving too slow.

When you remove an even number of Architects from a project, an odd number of Architects will wonder why they have to work on this crappy building when that ass from Columbia gets to work on the Danish Pavilion.

The number of corners in a room is inversely proportional to the clients budget.

The number of curves an Architect will draw in a given day is always greater than the number of curves an Architect wants to draw in a given day.

The distance from an Architect’s office to the scene of a seemingly random Homicide involving a certain newspaper reporter (who shall remain nameless) is not really important, actually, nevermind.

The last time an Architect refuses to take a job equals the first time an Architect realizes what he really wants his practice to focus on minus the number of seconds it takes to call the client back and beg for another chance.

If you toss an Architect, an Engineer, and a building inspector off the edge of a building, the client will not notice which one hits the ground first.

If a tree falls in a forest, the Architect will…

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* while holding the bulb, the world slowly revolves around the Architect

** plus or minus one sack

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photos are from John E Lester’s photostream on Flickr (used under creative commons license)

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